Week 15 - I hate fantasy football

Fantasy football is stupid and dumb and I want to punch it right in its big stupid face and WHY CAN'T I EVER GODDAMNED WIN?

Onto the picks!

Thursday 12/12

San Diego at Denver

Well, I had this one wrong. God, Denver's defense sucks. So I'm 0-1 already. GREAT. I had:

Denver 38
Chargers 31

Sunday 12/15

Washington at Atlanta

What a crappy matchup. At least Kirk Cousins is starting, because RGIII has been terrible. I guess the Falcons will find a way to win, right? Who knows. Who cares.

Falcons 24
Redskins 21

Chicago at Cleveland

No idea. No idea.

Bears 21
Browns 17

Houston at Indianapolis

Gotta take the Colts here, if for no other reason than the fact that the Texans are awful.

Colts 31
Texans 20

New England at Miami

As usual, when these teams meet, I hope that a small comet with INCREDIBLE aim slams into the stadium, wiping out both franchises. Alas, it never happens.

Patriots 30
Dolphins 27

Philadelphia at Minnesota

Nick Foles for President!

Eagles 27
Vikings 10

Seattle at New York Giants

Gotta take the Seahawks, right? I mean...the whole west coast to east coast 1:00 p.m. thing and blah blah blah. But the Seahawks are better than the Giants. So I have to take them, even though if the Giants somehow found a way to win, that wouldn't surprise me. Because they're annoying like that.

Seahawks 28
Giants 24

San Francisco at Tampa Bay

You know what? I'll take the Bucs at home in an upset. Because I STILL don't trust the 49ers, and for some reason, the Bucs seem to be playing hard for that jerk Greg Schiano.

Bucs 24
49ers 20

Buffalo at Jacksonville

For the first time all year, I'll pick the Jaguars. This won't end well.

Jaguars 20
Bills 17

New York Jets at Carolina

Nope.

Panthers 24
Jets 14

Oakland at Kansas City

The Raiders suck.

Chiefs 30
Raiders 17

Green Bay at Dallas

No Aaron Rodgers? No shot.

Cowboys 31
Packers 17

Arizona at Tennessee

BIRD GANG!

Cardinals 28
Titans 24

New Orleans at St. Louis

Still in a dome, so I'll take the Saints.

Saints 30
Rams 27

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh

The Steelers will win just to piss off the Bengals.

Steelers 20
Bengals 17

Monday 12/16

Baltimore at Detroit

I'll take the Ravens, because the Lions are falling apart and the Ravens seem to be pulling wins out of their asses left and right lately.

Ravens 37
Lions 34

Last week: 11-5
Season: 116-79-1