Well, this is it - the last hurrah of the NFL season. And thank God! My picks are getting worse and worse. I'm trying to get a jump start on them by turning them in before the weekend, although I doubt it will make a difference. Don't worry, loyal readers (all five of you), I'll be picking the playoffs as well. I SPOIL YOU GUYS.
Also, CONGRATS TO THE SYRACUSE ORANGE, YOUR 2013 TEXAS BOWL (whatever that is) CHAMPIONS! They have as many wins this season at Reliant Stadium as the Houston Texans! (I stole that from someone on Twitter - still funny, though)
Onto the picks!
Sunday 12/29
New York Jets at Miami
I really WANT to pick the Jets here, but my reverse jinx worked so well last week that I'm inclined to do it again. So I will! Also, #SAVEREX. Jesus, how can you fire a guy who won at least seven games with this roster? He should be coach of the year, because outside of the front seven on defense, the Jets have very little to work with. THANKS, TANNY.
Dolphins 20
Jets 17
Carolina at Atlanta
Is Carolina resting people? I don't know. I don't care either. Atlanta sucks.
Panthers 24
Atlanta 17
Baltimore at Cincinnati
Well, the Bengals already clinched the division, so...
Ravens 31
Bengals 20
Houston at Tennessee
Titans I guess? Why not. Chris Mason, this pick is for you, brotha.
Titans 28
Texans 20
Jacksonville at Indianapolis
Again...no idea if the Colts are resting people or not. But I can't pick the Jags again. Sorry.
Colts 20
Jaguars 13
Detroit at Minnesota
HAHAHAH Jim Schwartz might be the worst coach in the NFL.
Vikings 30
Lions 27
Washington at New York Giants
Both of these teams are awful.
Giants 27
Redskins 24
Cleveland at Pittsburgh
I saw Cleveland in person last week. That's the second time in my life that I've done that. That's more than enough.
Steelers 27
Browns 17
Green Bay at Chicago
Rodgers is going to play? WTF? The Bears got SMOKED last week, which doesn't auger well for the return of Rodgers AND Randall Cobb. Right? Sure, why not.
Packers 31
Bears 29
Denver at Oakland
Denver needs to clinch homefield throughout - they can't risk another trip to New England.
Broncos 31
Raiders 17
Buffalo at New England
Pats can't lose this game for the same reason that the Broncos can't lose theirs - too much at stake.
Patriots 38
Bills 17
Tampa Bay at New Orleans
It's in New Orleans.
Saints 28
Bucs 13
San Francisco at Arizona
I'll take the Niners. But barely.
49ers 28
Cardinals 25
Kansas City at San Diego
Upset city, because why not.
Chargers 31
Chiefs 22
St. Louis at Seattle
I can't believe Seattle lost week. I'll take them to bounce back at home this week, because, you know, they're good.
Seahawks 31
Rams 28
Philadelphia at Dallas
This is the game where Dallas fans realize that Tony Romo is NOT the problem. It's their horrible defense, their idiotic head coach, and their inept owner. TONY ROMO IS NOT THE PROBLEM.
Eagles 31
Cowboys 20
Last week: 9-7
Season: 135-92-1
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