Week 5 - Well, That Was Ugly

To quote the Sea Captain from the Simpsons, "yar, I don't know what I'm doin." That's how I feel about last week's picks.

So let's all just move on and get on with THIS week's embarrassment! Hopefully it's not as bad as my week 4 effort. YIKES.

















Thursday 10/2

Minnesota at Green Bay

No Teddy Bridgewater? No problem for ANY of Minnesota's opponents. I had:

Packers 31
Vikings 17

Sunday 10/5

Chicago at Carolina

I can't figure out either one of these teams, so I'll take Carolina at home. You know, when in doubt, take the home team and whatnot.

Panthers 24
Bears 20

Cleveland at Tennessee

I really wanna take Cleveland...but I can't do it.

Titans 20
Browns 17

St. Louis at Philadelphia

The Eagles have GOT to get that offense back on track. It does seem like the league has figured out Chip Kelly finally, but, the Rams are pretty bad so I think Philly will take care of business at the Linc.

Eagles 34
Rams 20

Atlanta at New York Giants

HERE COME THE G-MEN.

That's some hard-hitting analysis right there.

Giants 30
Falcons 24

Tampa Bay at New Orleans

Well, they're at home, so, the Saints.

Saints 24
Buccaneers 14

Houston at Dallas

I BELIEVE IN THE COWBOYS! (famous last words)

Cowboys 31
JJ Watts 21

Buffalo at Detroit

I saw Buffalo play at Detroit once in the pre-season when I was stuck at the WNBA Finals for work. It sucked.

Lions 31
Bills 20

Baltimore at Indianapolis

Hey, it's the "we stole franchises" Bowl! A-holes.

Colts 31
Ravens 28

Pittsburgh at Jacksonville

What the HELL happened last week, Steelers? Did you miss your ref payment or something?

Steelers 31
Jaguars 13

Arizona at Denver

Denver at home? Gotta like Denver. That mile high air is some BS.

Broncos 35
Cardinals 24

Kansas City at San Francisco

THE ALEX SMITH REVENGE BOWL!

Chiefs 27
49ers 20

New York Jets at San Diego

@#&* off, Jets.

Chargers 27
Jets 16
Geno Smith turnovers 2

Cincinnati at New England

In the words of immortal NFL prognosticator Marc "the Greek" Panzer (he's not Greek), it's time for the paper champion Bengals to put up or shut up.

Bengals 27
Patriots 24

Monday 10/6

Seattle at Washington

I think that the Seahawk defense might intercept Kirk Cousins 2-3 times in this game, and as a result, goodnight, Redskins.

Seahawks 24
Redskins 17

Last week: 5-8 (ugh)
Season: 33-28