NFL Week 7 Picks - Revenge of the Nerds

HEY DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT STAR WARS TRAILER? Here it is in case you didn't:



Seriously, how badass is that. The Millennium Falcon is flying sideways! SIDEWAYS!



Sideways!

Anyway, back to football. My week seven picks are off to a terrible start. I would have gotten cute and taken the 49ers on Thursday night, but of course they lost. And I really liked the Bills today in Jacksonville, but I forgot - silly me - just how much EJ Manuel sucks. Currently, the Jaguars just scored back to back defensive TDs as I type this. Great offense as usual, Rex!

Thursday 10/22

Seattle at San Francisco

Just when I started to waver in my belief in the Seahawks, and I started to think that maybe the 49ers weren't as bad as I thought, BOOM! I'm dumb. I had:

49ers 31
Seahawks 24

Sunday 10/25

Buffalo at "Jacksonville"

It's really cruel that we keep inflicting terrible NFL football on our closest allies. Sorry, London. You deserve better than this.

Bills 20
Jaguars 17

Tampa Bay at Washington

Woof, what a dogfight. Redskins I guess?

Redskins 24
Buccaneers 20

Atlanta at Tennessee

My high school mascot my freshman year was a Golden Falcon, before we merged with the neighboring high school and we became the Panthers. Yawn. That has nothing to do with anything, other than the fact that we ripped off the old Falcons logo for our logo. The new Falcons logo is lame. #grumpyoldmanopinions

Falcons 27
Titans 21

New Orleans at Indianapolis

I...have no idea.

Colts 27
Saints 24

Minnesota at Detroit

Neither team is good, but Minnesota is gooder.

Gooder.

Vikings 24
Lions 17

Pittsburgh at Kansas City

Are the Steelers good? Maybe. Is Kansas City bad? Possibly. Am I just stalling before having to make a pick? Definitely.

Steelers 23
Chiefs 20

Cleveland at St. Louis

Josh Luke Cade McCown McNown is a terrible QB, and Johnny Manziel has a drinking problem. You do you, Cleveland.

Rams 24
Browns 13

Houston at Miami

Ooooh, who pissed in Miami's cereal last week? They looked downright surly, and that's what you want out of an NFL team. I think they're going to beat the Texans this week, because are just some freakish d-lineman and a bunch of stiffs.

Dolphins 27
Texans 21

New York Jets at New England

Ugh, I hate this game. I always hate this. It will be close. It will be maddening. And the Jets will lose a close one.

Patriots 34
Jets 27

Oakland at San Diego

Gotta like Los Angeles San Diego here, right? I fear that the Raiders are Raidering again.

Chargers 31
Raiders 20

Dallas at New York Giants

MATT CASSELL IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY! But seriously, the Giants looked like a steaming pile of dirty diapers against the Eagles on Monday night. Yuck. I have no idea who's going to win this game, but I'll take the Giants at home simply because I think Tom Coughlin may have infused them with old man-rage-strength this week.

Giants 24
Cowboys 20

Philadelphia at Carolina

This is actually a really good matchup! One of the of the week, to be honest. I'll take the Panthers at home, but it'll be damned close.

Panthers 30
Eagles 27

Monday 10/26

Baltimore at Arizona

Cardinals all dayyyyy. And if Carson Palmer could go ahead and toss about five touchdown passes for my fantasy team, that'd be great. Thanks!

Cardinals 35
Ravens 24

Last week: 8-6
Season: 44-33