NFL Week 12 Picks - You Now Have the Theme Song to "Duck Tales" Stuck in Your Head

Congrats! Whether you read my picks or not, you now have "Duck Tales! Woo-oo!" running through your brain. Consider that my gift to you.

Happy Thanksgiving, America! I love me a good secular holiday that the whole country can enjoy together. Food, football, and hearing that one racist relative go off on a tirade about food stamps or something, well, that's about as American as apple pie.

Sigh.

Onto the picks for week 12!

(Duck Tales! Woo-oo!)

Thursday 11/26

Philadelphia at Detroit

Oh, Eagles. Chip Kelly should be fired yesterday.

Lions 27
Eagles 20

Carolina at Dallas

I have no faith in the Cowboys anymore, and Carolina is gooooooood.

Panthers 31
Cowboys 20

Chicago at Green Bay

I had this one wrong. No way Green Bay would lose on "Brett Favre Night," right?

Oops.

I had:

Packers 37
Bears 27

Sunday 11/29

Oakland at Tennessee

I'm not picking the Raiders on the road again.

Titans 24
Raiders 17

Buffalo at Kansas City

Poor Rex. Always getting so up for the Patriots. It's charming that Rex uses emotion like a college coach, but it's alarming that he coaches like one. Nothing has changed. He's literally learned nothing since the Jets canned him. However, I do like the Bills to win on the road, because Alex Smith is so limited, and Rex's defense feast on "limited" QBs. #analysis

Bills 24
Chiefs 20

Tampa Bay at Indianapolis

Hey, let's pick Tampa, why not?

Buccaneers 31
Colts 27

New York Giants at Washington

Man, I have no idea about ANY of these picks this week. They're all toss-ups. I guess I'll take the Giants, although I don't feel great about it.

Giants 27
Redskins 21

New Orleans at Houston

Here's another one. No idea. I'll take Houston.

Texans 30
Saints 27

Minnesota at Atlanta

UGH I HATE THIS WEEK SO MUCH.

Falcons 23
Vikings 16

St. Louis at Cincinnati

This is a game the Bengals have to win. I mean, come on.

Bengals 27
Rams 17

San Diego at Jacksonville

I guess I'll take the Jaguars, because they suck slightly less than the Chargers, right? Or it's about even, I guess.

Jaguars 24
Chargers 21

Miami at New York Jets

I'll never understand why there are so many Dolphins fans up here in the NYC/NJ area. The team hasn't won a Super Bowl in 43 years, and yet, we're overrun with these people. I don't get it. I guess everyone really liked Dan Marino, aka, the O.G. Peyton Manning, back in the day. That's both a compliment and an insult, I guess.

Dolphins 20
Jets 17



"Yeah!!!! I love going 10-6 and losing in the playoffs every time I play in cold weather!"

Arizona at San Francisco

Carson Palmer, can you go ahead and throw 12 touchdown passes tonight? Thanks brah.

Cardinals 84
49ers 20

Pittsburgh at Seattle

Ah, a rematch of one of the most glaringly fixed Super Bowls in NFL history. The officials were so blatantly calling things Pittsburgh's way, they may as well have had Tim Donaghy in charge of the crew. Nice job, Sons of Rooney - you gave Pittsburgh that Super Bowl. It will always make me sick (and I don't even give a damn about the Seahawks - I just loathe injustice).

Seahawks 27
Steelers 20

New England at Denver

What's Denver's quarterback's name? It doesn't matter.

Patriots 34
Broncos 24

Monday 11/30

Baltimore at Cleveland

Hey, it's the team that Cleveland should have kept, versus the team they were rewarded punished with getting a few years later. Oh well, Cleveland fans ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, my GOD, what an awful Monday Night Football game. Looks like an Xbox kind of night if you ask me.

Ravens 20
Browns 19

Last week: 8-6
Season: 85-61