Thursday, September 19, 2013

Week 3 - the beat goes on

Thursday 9/19

Kansas City at Philadelphia

Ah, the Andy Reid bowl. I hate Philly sports fans for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggest ones has to be because of the absolutely stupid vitriol hurled at my man Donovan McNabb over the course of his under-appreciated NFL career. He and Andy Reid presided over the most successful sustained run in franchise history, so naturally the Philly faithful screamed "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"

Idiots.

Eagles 30
Chiefs 24

Sunday 9/22

Buffalo at New York Jets

I already hate the Geno Smith era, although in his defense, his receivers are an embarrassment. I like the Bills in this one because, as any Syracuse fan can tell you, Doug Marrone is Geno Smith's kryptonite.

Bills 16
Jets 13

Green Bay at Cincy

Man, I guess Cincy looks pretty good right? Green Bay does too, and they finally got a 100 yard rusher, so bully for them. I'm thinking that the Packers have enough firepower to outgun the Bengals, but it will be close.

Packers 31
Bengals 27

St. Louis at Dallas


God, Dallas is so annoying. They've been this way for years. They're not good. They're not awful. They're just irritating. Meanwhile St. Louis seems a little better than they have been, but, fine. I'll go with Dallas. At home. I GUESS.

Cowboys 27
Rams 20

San Diego at Tennessee

Ah, maybe that Norv Turner stink is finally washing off the Chargers. And Tennessee is downright feisty. This is a good matchup, actually. I like the Titans at home, in another close game.

Titans 21
Chargers 17

Cleveland at Minnesota

I admire how early Cleveland completely gave up on its season. Well done!

Vikings 28
Browns 6

Tampa Bay at New England

Greg Schiano! Bill Belicheck! Two of my least favorite people ever! I'm rooting for "Meteor Destroying Foxborough Stadium: 1, New England/Tampa Bay: 0," but it's probably going to be a close Pats win. OR NOT.

Bucs 17
Pats 16

Arizona at New Orleans

I feel like I don't remember anything about the Cardinals' first two weeks, other than that I feel like they should have won both. Did they? No. 1-1? That sounds right. Meanwhile the Saints slogged out a win against the Bucs, so there's that. I think they'll play better at home in an entertaining game.

Saints 24
Cardinals 21

Detroit at Washington

I hate the Lions. Their coach is a scumbag and Ndamaokah (no idea how to spell that) Suh is dirty. I like Calvin Johnson, but I'd really like to see Washington win. I like RGIII a lot. Actually, f that, I can't stand the Shanahans. Screw them. Sorry RGIII.

Lions 30
Redskins 20

Giants at Carolina.


Christ, the Giants have to win eventually, right?

Giants 27 (9 field goals)
Panthers 20

Houston at Baltimore

Baltimore blows.

Texans 24
Ravens 14

Atlanta at Miami

Damn it, Miami's actually good aren't they? I hate the NFL.

Dolphins 27
Falcons 23

Indy at San Fran

Ooh, I don't like this spot for Indy. At all. The 49ers are back home, and you know they're pissed off after that crapfest of a game they played at Seattle.

49ers 31
Colts 24

Jacksonville at Seattle

The Jaguars are the worst team in football. Trust me. As a Jets fan, I know shitty football. I've stared it right in its ugly face for the better part of 37 years. The Jaguars might go 1-15.

Seattle 50
Jaguars 9

Chicago at Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh is a friggin' mess. For the first time ever, Mike Tomlin is actually going to have to do some coaching under adversity. Let's see how he does. I like Tomlin.

Chicago 28
Pittsburgh 17

Monday 9/23

Oakland at Denver

Oakland is surprisingly not awful this year, and even though Denver looks unbeatable...YOU CAN THROW THE RECORDS OUT WHEN THESE TEAMS PLAY HERP A DERP A DERP. But Denver wins.

Broncos 31
Oakland 28

Last week: 13-3
Season: 22-10




No comments:

Post a Comment