Week Two Picks - We learned some stuff last week

Well, I did pretty terrible with my picks last week. Since I am a model of consistency, let's be terrible again this week. Onto the picks!

Thursday 9/12

Jets at Patriots

Well, I would have picked the Pats to win, but probably like 20-10 instead of the actual 13-10 final score. I'm giving myself credit for this one, so suck it.

Pats WIN
Jets LOSS

Sunday 9/15

Rams at Falcons

Falcons are home and pissed off, so I'll take them in a close one over the 1-0 Rams.

Falcons 30
Rams 24

Panthers at Bills

Ugh, I don't know. Bills?

Bills 24
Panthers 20

Vikings at Bears

Sorry, not sold on Christian Ponder. Still. AP is a beast but that's about it it. Meanwhile, the Bears and their CFL style of play are TAKING THE NFL BY STORM! Just kidding, but still.

Bears 31
Vikings 17

Redskins at Packers

The Redskins finally shook a little rust off last week with RGIII's return, but I still like the Packers at home. Also, Clay Matthews is annoying. Get a hair cut, ya hippie.

Packers 34
Redskins 24

Dolphins at Colts

I'm going to pick the Dolphins simply because I hate them, and my picks are usually the kiss of death. Nah just kidding, I think the Colts are better and since the NFL loves the Colts, they'll get every call in a close game.

Colts 27
Dolphins 20

Cowboys at Chiefs

The Cowboys needed SIX TURNOVERS to beat the Giants last week, which worries me a little bit for this game. I'll take the Chiefs at home because Andy Reid - despite the protests of Cheesesteak Nation - actually knows what he's doing.

Chiefs 28
Cowboys 24

Chargers at Eagles

Assuming the Eagles are even half as prolific in this game as they were in the first half of last week, I like their chances. Also, nice choke job by San Diego last week. It's like Norv Turner never left.

Eagles 38
Chargers 14

Browns at Ravens

The Ravens are desperate, and the Browns are the Browns.

Ravens 30
Browns 10

Titans at Texans

I think the Texans are a fraud, but I still think they can beat the Titans at home (and they will).

Texans 24
Titans 13

Lions at Cardinals

Cards should have won last week. The Lions are an undisciplined mess, even though they won last week. Jim Schwartz is the worst.

Cardinals 31
Lions 24

Saints at Buccaneers

The Bucs are terrible. KEEP CHOPPIN' THOUGH, GREG SCHIANO!

Saints 41
Bucs 9

Jaguars at Raiders

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF

Raiders 24
Jaguars 7

Broncos at Giants

MANNING BOWL! MANNING BOWL! MANNING BOWL! It's easy to want to pick the Broncos, so I will. The Giants...I think they might be a .500 team again this year, and the Broncos could reach the Super Bowl. If Peyton stays upright, they'll have enough to knock off Toyota's favorite tri-state pitchman and co.

Broncos 38
Giants 28

49ers at Seahawks

Arguably the best matchup of the week, and I have I mentioned my creepy sports man-crush on Russel Wilson? Well, I think he's just the best ever and if you disagree you can burn in hell. That Kapernick guy is pretty damned good, though.

49ers 31
Seahawks 28

Monday 9/16

Steelers at Bengals

The Steelers suck. God, it feels good writing that.

Bengals 21
Steelers 17

Last week: 9-7
Season: 9-7