Sunday, November 3, 2013

Week 9 - I HAVE MASTERED THE ART OF PROGNOSTICATION

SON OF A BITCH

I had a whole damned thing typed here, and then I accidentally typo'd badly and deleted everything. And then this STUPID GODDAMNED thing "auto-saved" my changes.

So with LIMITED commentary, here are my rapid fire picks. Some of you probably prefer it this way every week, and for that, we are FRENEMIES FOR LIFE.

Onto the picks. AGAIN.

Thursday 10/31

Cincinnati at Miami

Florida is a weird state and we should cut it loose, setting it adrift.

Bengals 24
Dolphins 20 (whoops)

Sunday 11/3

New Orleans at New York Jets


Sigh...I'd love to pick my Jets here, but no. No.

Saints 31
Jets 20

Kansas City at Buffalo

Chiefs gotta lose eventually, right? Yeah, but not this week.

Chiefs 20
Bills 17

Minnesota at Dallas

The Vikings are the Jaguars of the NFC. By which I mean they're disgraceful and always a threat to relocate.

Cowboys 27
Vikings 10

Tennessee at St. Louis

Hurt Locker!

Titans 17
Rams 13

San Diego at Washington

Gah, I don't know, Chargers?

Chargers 34
Redskins 27

Atlanta at Carolina

Falcons, I guess. I don't love this pick.

Falcons 28
Panthers 24

Philadelphia at Oakland


Raiders are tough at home and the Eagles look like they're dangerously close to falling apart.

Raiders 20
Eagles 13

Tampa Bay at Seattle

Haha screw you Schiano and Revis, etc.

Seahawks 23
Bucs 10

Baltimore at Cleveland

Who cares.

Ravens 20
Browns 17

Pittsburgh at New England

Screw you, Brady and Belicheck. But you'll win. Because of course.

Patriots 24
Steelers 17

Indianapolis at Houston

I'm being nice in that I'm predicting the Texans to keep it close. Meanwhile, the collective sportswriter slurping of Andrew Luck is already getting old.

Colts 24
Texans 20

Monday 11/4

Chicago at Green Bay

The Bears are teetering badly. They may fall of the cliff soon.

Packers 31
Bears 20

Last week: 11-2
Season: 76-44

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