NFL Week 16 Picks! It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Ah yes, the holidays. Christmas, Hanukkah, and of course, New Year's Eve and 2015 looming over there in the distance. How exciting! This weekend I've seen so much holiday cheer as I've witnessed not one but two near accidents caused by people driving as if they're playing some bizarre Somerville version of "Cannonball Run," and last weekend I got my Clark Griswold on and basically used every curse word in the English language (and some I invented) while putting up Christmas lights. Ho ho ho!



You and me, Sparky, you and me

Anyway, now that we've already got three NFL games under our belts, let's recap and move on with the rest of today's picks!

Thursday 12/18

Tennessee at Jacksonville

I got this one right! I had:

Jacksonville 20
Titans 17

Saturday 12/20

Philadelphia over Washington

I was wrong here, because Sanchez gonna Sanchez.

Eagles 27
Redskins 13

San Diego at San Francisco

I was right on this one - but BARELY. I had:

Chargers 30
49ers 20

Sunday 12/21

New England at New York Jets

Sigh...are we really doing this?

Patriots 31
Jets 17

Minnesota at Miami

Miami has gotta be better than Minnesota, right? RIGHT?

Dolphins 27
Vikings 20

Baltimore at Houston

Two decent teams, one complete toss-up for yours truly.

Ravens 27
Texans 24

Detroit at Lifeless Stiffs

Jimmy Clausen - he's the answer, for sure!

Lions 28
Bears 10

Cleveland at Carolina

I want to at least see a garbage time Browns touchdown, just so we can hear the Carolina crowd mercilessly boo Johnny Manziel. And I don't even hate Johnny Manziel! It would just be funny.

Panthers 20
Browns 7

Atlanta at New Orleans

I mean, I wanna say Atlanta, but isn't Julio Jones hurt or something? Also, the Saints now suck at home AND on the road, so they've finally achieved that nice balance they've been looking for this season. Also also, they lead the division. Which I like, because I like when people wring their hands over stupid things like pro sports.

Falcons 21
Saints 20

Green Bay at Tampa Bay

THANKS FOR CRAPPING ALL OVER YOURSELF LAST WEEK, AARON RODGERS (#fantasyfootballproblems). Also, the Packers are alarmingly average on the road. That's...concerning.

Packers 24
Buccaneers 20

Kansas City at Pittsburgh

I hope the Steelers wear their sinfully ugly throwback uniforms today. Seriously, they're so shockingly ugly that I'm a little bit mesmerized by them.

Steelers 30
Chiefs 27

New York Giants at St. Louis

I can't guess right with the Rams at all, so I suppose I'll pick the Giants and then roll my eyes in frustration when the Rams win.

Giants 23
Rams 16

Buffalo at Oakland

The Bills are winning despite their average play from the QB position. They remind me of the 2009 Jets, in a way. Their defense is straight up nasty.

Bills 27
Raiders 13

Indianapolis at Dallas

Ooooh, baby, Dallas can wrap up a playoff spot on the road at home today and I think the Colts are semi-fraudulent. HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?

Cowboys 24
Colts 23

Seattle at Arizona

How is Arizona even winning? Seriously? Their whole team is injured and they're begging Neil Lomax to come out of retirement to play QB (oh yeah kids, I'm showing my age with that name). I think the Seahawks win, but Bruce Arians is the coach of the year hands down.



This is Neil Lomax, children

Seahawks 20
Cardinals 17

Monday 12/22

Denver at Cincinnati

It's the battle of "Which Team Will the Patriots De-pants In the AFC Title Game." I like the Broncos, but barely.

Broncos 27
Bengals 24

Last week: 9-7
Season: 117-75