Week 17 NFL Picks - Rex is dead. Long Live Rex

I've loved Rex Ryan from day one. After three years of the tight-ass Eric Mangini, Rex blew into Florham Park full of bluster and bravado, vowing to win a Super Bowl and meet the president. But that's not the only reason why I love him. I love the guy because he's a great defensive coach, and by some miracle, he led the Jets to two straight AFC Championship Games at the start of his tenure. He inspired a hilarious ongoing parody personality on the NFL humor site Kissing Suzy Kolber, and who doesn't love a fat guy coach? It's funny - when he got his lap-band surgery, that seemed to coincide with the start of the decline. He's like a football Samson, who lost his fat (instead of his hair) and was subsequently stripped of his power.



Pictured: Sexy Rexy

Unfortunately, he's not a great coach by any stretch. He seems like a better man than his father, Buddy, but he suffers from the same problem as his old man - he ONLY cares about defense. As the team has struggled over the past four years, he's retreated further and further into his defensive foxhole as the offense continued to atrophy and flounder. Hamstrung by a mediocre GM (Mike Tannenbaum) and then a terrible one (John Idzik), he lacked the overall talent to compete and it became a completely untenable situation. Do I think all of the losing this season is Rex's fault? No. But I do I think he's blameless? No. This is his sixth season with the team, and the trend has been in a downward spiral for a long time now. As much as I've enjoyed his time as a Jets coach (and I'll continue to enjoy and root for him, as long as he doesn't end up on an AFC rival team or something), I think it's time that everyone moves on.



Sorry, buddy

I hope Woody Johnson does what Leon Hess did in 1997 - realize that he has no clue what he's doing, find a football man (in Hess' case, Bill Parcells), and simply get the hell out of the way. Parcells did a terrific job of changing the culture and he launched what is arguably the most consistently successful era in the sad history of this franchise. But that time is done now, and - short of selling the team - the best move for Woody here is clean house. Fire Rex, fire Idzik, and clean out this perennially underachieving scouting department. Terry Bradway? Take a walk.

I love being a Jets fan.

Onto the picks!

Sunday 12/28

New York Jets at Miami

Part of me thinks that the Jets, playing in honor of Rex's last game, will upset the Dolphins on the road. It's possible! But Geno Smith is just so, so terrible, that I'm guessing he goes out and ruins a good effort by everyone else.

Dolphins 21
Jets 20

Cleveland at Baltimore

No one does "epic collapse" like a Cleveland sports team. Sorry, Browns fans. I've been rooting for you. But alas...

Ravens 27
Browns 10

Dallas at Washington

HOW BOUT THEM NFC EAST CHAMPION COWBOYS!?!

Cowboys 31
Redskins 20

Indianapolis at Tennessee

HOT TAKE TIME: Andrew Luck still has a lot of work to do before I'll say he's "great."

Colts 24
Titans 9

Jacksonville at Houston

I'll take the JJ Watts for one last time this year.

Texans 24
Jacksonville 17

San Diego at Kansas City

Speaking of collapses, how about those Chiefs? Ugh. Also? Poor Alex Smith has a LACERATED SPLEEN. What the hell, man!?!?

Chargers 30
Chiefs 17

Chicago at Minnesota

I'll take Minnesota, as we begin the mercy killing of this Bears' roster.

Vikings 20
Bears 17

Buffalo at New England

Sorry, Bills - you know I want to pick you here, but I can't pick against Tom Brady and the Patriots. At home. In December.

Patriots 27
Bills 20

Philadelphia at New York Giants

You know what? I'm taking the Giants. ODELL BECKHAM JR FOR EVERYTHING OF THE YEAR.

Giants 28
Eagles 17

New Orleans at Tampa Bay

I don't care about this game, not even a little bit.

Saints 24
Buccaneers 20

Carolina at Atlanta

The battle for the division. Unreal. These teams are terrible!

Panthers 24
Falcons 20

Detroit at Green Bay

Same deal here with the Packers. Just like the Pats, I'm not picking against the star QB at home, in December.

Packers 34
Lions 28

Oakland at Denver

Oakland has been frisky lately, but the Broncos need this one badly. Frankly, they need their BS "thin-air" homefield advantage to even have a PRAYER of winning playoff games.

Broncos 31
Raiders 21

Arizona at San Francisco

I think the 49ers will pull together and deal a serious blow to the quarterback-less Cardinals, heading into the postseason.

49ers 21
Cardinals 17

St. Louis at Seattle

I like the Rams, but the Seahawks are the Seahawks and that defense is playing great again.

Seahawks 30
Rams 17

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh

I've been calling the Bengals frauds all year, but they've been doing a lot to prove me wrong lately. I'm ALMOST tempted to take them tonight at Pittsburgh, but I just can't do it.

Steelers 31
Bengals 27

Last week: 12-4
Season: 129-79