Week 4 NFL Picks! Mr. Jets go to London

AMERICAN TOILET PAPER JOKE



"oh beautiful...for spacious skies"

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I could really get used to the Jets playing their road games in London! I love the 9:30 a.m. kickoff, it makes me feel like I'm back living in Los Angeles. "OH GEE BROLL YOU USED TO LIVE IN LOS ANGELES? WOW, YOU'VE NEVER MENTIONED THAT COOL TIDBIT BEFORE."

Ahem.

Onto the picks!

Thursday 10/1

Baltimore at Pittsburgh

Hey, I got this one right! Without Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh ain't shit. Hence, the 0-3 Ravens got off the snide. I had:

Ravens 24
Steelers 17

Sunday 10/4

New York Jets at "Miami" (in London, England)

I get all of my Jets angst out of the way by lunch time. I could get used to this. I'm typing this while the Jets are playing, in the interest of full disclosure. I picked them to win 20-17. I'll stick to that.

Jets 20
Dolphins 17

Jacksonville at Indianapolis

Without Andrew Luck, the Colts are a dumpster fire. Hey guess what? Luck is out today!

Jaguars 24
Colts 10

New York Giants at Buffalo

That Bills defense is scary good, and I think Eli is due for a turnover or two. I don't like that combination for Big Blue.

Bills 30
Giants 24

Carolina at Tampa Bay

Hey, Carolina is pretty good! That's fun.

Panthers 27
Buccaneers 20

Philadelphia at Washington

Well, isn't that just like the Jets to give a struggling team life? And that's just what they did with the Eagles - they gave them life. I don't think the Eagles are anything special this year, but I think they're good enough to beat the tumultuous Redskins. They're the biggest train wreck in the D.C. area since Congress - HAHAHAHA NO ONE HAS EVER MADE THAT JOKE BEFORE HURRRR DURRR DURRR

Eagles 23
Redskins 20

Oakland at Chicago

#lolBears Chicago might be the worst team in the league this year.

Raiders 27
Bears 17

Houston at Atlanta

Atlanta seems like a much better team since the corpse of Mike Smith was fired. Also, it's week four and I still don't know anything about Houston.

Falcons 27
Texans 23

Kansas City at Cincinnati

I have a sneaking suspicion that the Chiefs aren't any good. JUST LIKE THE JETS SPECIAL TEAMS COVERAGE MY GOD CAN YOU GUYS COVER ANYONE?

Ahem. Landry just had a big return for Miami.

Anyway, yeah, Bengals.

Bengals 30
Chiefs 17

Cleveland at San Diego

Remember when the Chargers had a guy named Stan Humphries playing QB and Chris Berman used to call him "Stan Diego Humphries?. That was "funny."

Chargers 31
Browns 20

Green Bay at San Francisco

I like the Packers to win at Luxury Box Stadium.

Packers 34
49ers 20

St. Louis at Arizona

Years ago, this would have been Los Angeles at St. Louis. What a country!

Cardinals 37
Rams 27

Minnesota at Denver

Both of these teams are pretty good, but the Broncos are playing at home in that thin air bullshit.

Broncos 31
Vikings 20

Dallas at New Orleans

Man, this match up isn't very appealing. No Romo, no Brees, but Dallas is better than New Orleans, right?

Cowboys 21
Saints 20

Monday 10/5

Detroit at Seattle

I like Detroit, but I like Seattle more. I think.

Seahawks 24
Lions 21

Last week: 11-5
Season: 26-22